I'am so so hate my life:(.
I'am sick of everything.
Having this kind of life.
Having a boyfriend who don't understands me at all.
He only know how to scold me don't care my feeling at all.
He always say i like to lang fei his money.
Did he everthing for me that how much this i had do for him.
Because of him i take my mother money without asking her when he need to.i take the money to let him use.
Beacuse of him i try all my best to give him what i could give him.
I give him all my love, my care,my money and many more.
BUT WHAT DID I GET BACK FOM HIM?
I feel so sad:(.
This few days i keep crying.
I got no friends to talk to.
I dun ever dare to let my mother know what happen to the both of us when she keep saw me crying every night alone in my room.
I keep crying the whole day and night.
I been keep trying to talk to him about my feelings.
But he dun even cares.
He saw me cry he dun even feel sorry at all.
He think this that this he what he should he to treat his own girlfriend.
Just beacuse of the way he wants to ues money for me.
And scold me saying that i always like to use his money.
PLS Not i dun have money is everytime i say i wan to pay for myself den he say he what to pay for me de.
What the fuck now he wan?
SAVE MONEY?
WHAT THE FUCK.
You say you wan to save money.
Den i no need is iz?
I not ren ma?
I DUN NEED MONEY IS IZ?
You always say i like to use your money.
NO OK IS YOU ARE THE ONE WHO ALWAYS MAKE ME AND FROCE ME TO USE DE OK.
I hate it.
Where the hell got a boyfriend who treat his Girlfriend like this.
Whos boyfriemd will treat their own girlfriend like this?
I do so much for him.
And yet this is what i get back fom him.
I HATE MY LIFE I HATE HIM.
It really maek me cry.
All the time:(.
I'am feeling so upset with him.
I'am feeling so tried with him.
I do so much for him and this all i get back from him.
I'am really tried with everyting le.
Can i leave this place?
I'am tried.
To MY Dear God,
(Dear God pls take me alway.
I'am feeling tried.
I wan to go to a place which i dun need to face all this SHIT for me.
I wan to enjoy i wan to be freedom and out of this place.
Can you take me alway fom this family and boyfriend and take me to you?
I'am feeling so tried to be here.)
And what a lie to me was that FOM NOW ON i'am not going to believe in anyone or anything anymore.
like what my friends had send me this morning.
( Sister are like your own twins, they understand and love you more than a boyfriend. Sister wipe your tears after a heart break,boys just leave you alone once they get sick of you. Sister hold your hands and never even think about letting go,boys justlet go wheb they feel like it.
Sister take mintes to reply your calls/msgs,boys take forever.Sister don't comment on your looks, boys do.)
All this to me are just like shit.
Beacuse it does not mean to me anything at all.
If what she say is real.
I dun need to cry to myself trying to look for a person who can really hear and understand and help me.
I Cant even feel that my friends was there for me when i need them.
I Try to call some of the friends who really know about me to listen to my feelings,
But they dun even pick up my call or reply any of my sms.
And Yet This Massage to me it is really dun mean anything to me at all.
I dun believe in friends, family, boyfriend or even god le.
(God if you really love me pls let me leave this place i do not wan to be here anymore again.)
2:23 AM
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